Challenge yourself Happy!

Our view of any situation – the way we perceive things -  is our Reality. You may have noticed that your Reality isn’t always shared with others! In fact, we all have our very own Reality about things (which is at the heart of most disagreements and a great subject for a future post!).
 
In my previous post, we talked about Unhelpful Thinking Styles – negative things we automatically say to ourselves that are self-defeating and create anxiety and distress – thinking ourselves into a helpless and hopeless Reality about the situation.
 
Here’s the good news… these ways of thinking can be changed!  By Challenging these habitual thoughts, you can choose a whole new Reality, one that results in you being kinder to yourself and leading a happier life.
 
Remembering that the first step is Awareness – that is, recognising the Automatic Negative Thought that you had and PAUSE right there!
 
By telling yourself to “Pause” after you have told yourself something negative, you can short-circuit the automatic path towards putting yourself down or somehow believing that all will end badly.
 
Now challenge that automatic negative thought by asking yourself some questions…
 
Test the Reality
What is the evidence for and against my thinking?
What are the facts and what are my feelings?
Is there another possible reason to explain this?  

Put things into Perspective
Is it as bad as I’m making out?
Is there anything good about this situation?
How likely is it that the worst will happen?
​What is most likely to happen?  

Now the best part …
Choose a better Reality!
Is there another way I could think about this?
What would I say to someone else in this situation?
Is there a more helpful way of thinking about this?
What would others think if they were in this situation?  

One of my favourite sayings is “When you do what you’ve always done, you get what you’ve always got”.  Changes to old habits require ongoing awareness and commitment to do something different.
By becoming aware of your Unhelpful Thinking Patterns and challenging your Automatic Negative Thoughts you can make a huge difference to your life and the way you perceive things – your reality.

Keep the process of challenging yourself going, by:
Taking a different Action
What can I do that will help me deal with my problems?
How can I minimise the negative effects?
How can I think about this that will help me feel good about myself?
If it is something that has already happened, how could I do it better next time?

​Try this out for yourself with an Automatic Negative Thought you have just noticed and see which questions work best for you to successfully challenge your unhelpful, old  ways of thinking.  
 
In a nutshell… Pause, Challenge, Take a different Action
 
Talking to your therapist can help clarify and put these things into practise, too.
Till next time, take care of you
Vanessa
0414 99 66 13
vanessa@thoughtmatters.com.au